There is a lot of talk about the tragic shootings that took place in December 2012 in Newtown Connecticut compared to the dozens of other mass shootings that have happened in 2012. What some of the questions people are asking are; why is it that President Obama wants to speak up now against gun violence AND actually do something about it when according to today’s Huffington Post (Chicago), Chicago has endured 400 murders in 2012 alone? A lot of people believe that the reason the Newtown Massacre has received so much publicity is because the victims were innocent young white children & teachers. Furthermore, places “like Newtown” do not experience this kind of violence on a regular basis. On the contrary, a large portion of the shootings and deaths that have taken place in Chicago are gang related. Unfortunately, a lot of the suspects that participated in those Chicago shootings are African American. When it comes to life in the urban neighborhoods, these acts of violence are considered commonplace. I find it interesting that I can be in the salon and someone will talk about the shooting that just occurred on their block, in the same sentence say how beautiful the weather is outside. Then when a shooting happens in a predominantly white and peaceful neighborhood where white children are shot and killed…now all of a sudden “some African Americans” give a damn little Tommy on the block?? Here is my opinion, why do we as African Americans care whether or not the violence in our neighborhoods gets the same media attention when it is black people killing other people?? Why do we care when it is OUR race that largely promotes and enjoys gangsta rap and the image of being “hood”? Why do we black people care when some of us more often than not have no respect for authority? Why do we care when most of us embrace ignorance and a primitive mentality, yet we look at stand up African Americans as sell outs? Before we as black people look to anyone else to care about our lives and who we are, the caring needs to start with us! I believe we need to re-build the black family instead making excuses for why we allow them to fall apart. I believe we need to encourage more marriage to Godly husbands and wives instead of more baby mommas and daddies. My reason for this..if a young girl grows up seeing mommy supporting her husband, respecting her husband as well as herself and contributing to the household in whatever she can, most likely the daughter will act in like manner. On the flip side, if the daughter sees mommy who is not married, acting foolish, bad attitude, dependent AND not supportive of her man…she will still act in like manner. Please feel free to comment or share your opinion and keep it classy always.
Over the years of dealing with different people, I have realized that those who are extremely judgmental when it comes to others and how they live their lives are very sensitive when the tables are turned on them. To some degree, a lot of their OWN lives are kept private in order for their biggest and most embarrassing life mistakes not to be exposed to those they criticize. What I believe AND what the Bible says is that WE ALL WERE BORN IN SIN. Therefore, the only person or entity that is SINLESS in this whole universe is the Holy Trinity (God the Father, The son Jesus Christ and the Holy Spirit). It is in our DNA to commit sin… AND LIKE IT. It is harder to avoid sin and depart from it, especially when you do not have a strong relationship with God and connection to the Holy Spirit. It is the Holy Spirit that prepares a way of escape in tempting situations. On top of that, one of the many reasons why sin is so difficult to avoid is because of those whom are closest to us that entertain sin OR are enablers of a sinful life. As it says in the Bible in Matthew 7 verse 13; Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the way that leads to destruction, and many enter through it. But small is the gate and narrow the way that leads to life and only a few find it. Due to the fact that the route towards destruction is so massive, many of us are making our way or have found our way off of that path, myself included. In my own journey, I have done many things that I am not proud of, but I do not act as if that part of my life never happened. I know in my heart of hearts that I would not be where or who I am today without the Power of God working in me! I have noticed that even though my life has changed dramatically and continues to get better, some individuals around me indirectly denounce my accomplishments. Some people cannot or DO NOT believe that my life now is more than what it was at one point in time…but that is precisely what happens when you let go and let GOD TAKE CONTROL! When God shows up…HE SHOWS OFF and through my life and many others who may have a similar story to mine is how people who have heard about God should see that HE IS REAL! When God starts to bless you, you will begin to acknowledge who is truly in your corner. In just two years, so many great things have happened for me including getting married! A lot of people think that it happened too soon, but God created the whole world in SEVEN days so……..! In addition, when God is the one leading you to someone and is the CENTER of your relationship…it will not take ions to figure out that they are the one for you! Plus, when you are not having sex, you can see all of who that person is…but that is a whole other blog which I believe I already wrote! At any rate, everyone has skeletons; if you are the type of person to point out everyone else’s, sooner or later yours will start pouring out of the closet! People also need to keep in mind that God will judge you the same way you judge others! Matthew 7 verse 2-3; For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you. Why do you look at the SPECK of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay NO MIND TO THE PLANK IN YOUR OWN EYE? At the end of the day, if YOUR way of judgment will cause YOU to end up in the lake of fire when all is said and done…maybe you need to RE-THINK your way of thinking. Please feel free to comment or share your opinion and keep it classy always.
I know most ladies do not want to send out the wrong message with what they wear, especially when going to work or church. I also know that most women still want to look sexy without looking like Mother Teresa( you still want to show off your curves). Good news, you can do this and here are some outfits that I think will work at either venue. A bit of advice, make sure you get YOUR size and not two sizes too small…REMEMBER YOU ARE NOT GOING TO THE CLUB!
Ladies and gentlemen, summertime is here which means if you have not done so already, you gotta shape up for the beach!! I know some people are cautious about working out in front of others or do not have time to get to the gym. Today is your lucky day, here are some programs, products and equipment you can use in the comfort of your own home!!
If any of you have seen the video of a NY bus monitor Karen Klein who was being taunted by a bunch of 13 year olds, I would assume that you were just as outraged as I am! I had to fight back tears watching the video; it was a harsh reminder of how cruel some people can be. Some would say that they were just kids being kids, but they are old enough to know that you treat others the way you want to be treated. How would one of those children feel if they were amongst a group of their peers and they were the one being taunted?? Furthermore, THE PARENTS OF THESE KIDS should have taught them that you are to respect your elders and others for that matter! If they were comfortable talking to an old woman in that manner, either they talk to their own parents that way as well or that is how their parents speak to people. I read an article regarding this story on fox.com and evidently these children have been receiving a number of threats due to the video going viral. I think they should be punished for their nefarious remarks and if that means getting a beating…SO BE IT! If they are grown enough to speak in that manner, they are grown enough to pay the consequences for their actions. When one of the kids asked the old woman if she was sweating and she said no, the child asked,”then why is your face wet?” The woman responded, “I’m crying,” even after that they continued to harass her. The Bible even talks about this, we are to love one another as we love ourselves; we are to love one another as God loves us. The Bible also talks about how we reap what we sow; even if these children do not experience it until they are adults, one day what they did to that old woman is going to happen to them or maybe to their child if they become parents. Some people believe the riddle, “sticks and stones may break my bones, but names will never hurt me.” However; the Bible also states that death and life lie in the tongue. If you have not seen the video, it posted below. Please feel free to comment or share your opinion and keep it classy always.
If anyone has seen the latest cover of Vibe Magazine, maybe you like me are disappointed that these African American and Hispanic women are considered to be the new role models for black women. In addition to the cover, I read the interview with these women. Evidently, even though these women on a whole do not feel that women should be looking at them as role models, the REALITY (no pun intended) is that they are role models whether they like it or not. Furthermore, they are not just role models for the impressionable; there are also grown women who aspire to be like them. What these women are wearing on the cover makes them look like high class prostitutes, but because they are wearing it, other women now want those same outfits. Whether you are a reality TV star or just an everyday woman, if a man were to see a woman in any of the outfits these women are wearing on the cover, he would think she is a hoe. In the article, Chrissy from Love and Hip Hop was asked if she considers herself a role model. She replied that if she can inspire a woman to stick up for herself and take what she wants out of life, than yes. Anyone who watched Love and Hip Hop can undoubtedly see that in her case, what she had to take was her boyfriend Jim Jones’ hand in marriage. He did not get on one knee and propose to her EVEN THOUGH she was by his side for 7 years. She was so desperate to be engaged that she took matters into her own hands and proposed to him. Not only did he say “I’m with you” instead of saying YES, he lost the ring that she had custom made for him and she had to get him another one. On top of that, she is quick to judge Emily’s (from Love and Hip Hop) relationship with Fab as if they are not on the same boat…they were both being strung along. I bet if Jim Jones proposed to Chrissy after being together for a year, she would have said yes. What happened…she gave him the ass before marriage and they have been PLAYING HOUSE ever since. I will admit that Evelyn is a smart business woman as far as the new ventures she is taking and she is pretty, but the reality for her is that she sexed her way to the top. She used her looks and her vagina to get to where she wanted to be career wise. She needed money to make it and the men that she dated had plenty of it and did not mind spending it on her. Then she met Chad Ochocinco and gave him the ass on the first night and in this recent season, he is telling her to her face how he has never been monogamous, he will continue to sleep with other women and should be able to bring those women home. Evelyn may act like she does not care as long as she knows the truth or may believe that marriage will change him. I am sure that will change if Chad gives her a STD OR HIV. Clearly, despite Evelyn’s success, she is still suffering from daddy issues which are why she attracts and deals with the men that she does. Chad may be a man, but he is not an ELITE MAN, he is not the man that you will gladly bring home to meet your parents. Real talk…he looks like the type of man that would sleep with Evelyn’s daughter. I do not know much about the other women on the cover, but I think they should have chosen other women altogether. Why not choose Michelle Obama or something, they should have chosen women who understand the use and misuse of their platform. Even for me as a young married African American woman, I may have made mistakes in the past, but now more than ever I know my platform. There are a lot of women who look up to me and because of that, I am mindful of how I dress, how I conduct myself, how I treat people, and making sure that wherever I go, I am representing my name. Even in the bible, it says that a good name is more desirable than great wealth… these reality star women do not understand that. Please feel free to comment or share your opinion and keep it classy always.
I do not know if any of you watch the show Basketball Wives, but if you watched the episode when Tami goes off on Keisha when they are in Tahiti, you can really see how mean and angry Tami really is. Tami is a 40 year old woman getting mad to the point of complete rage because someone was talking behind her back??? News flash… until the end of the world people are always going to talk about other people whether it is good or bad, what you need to do as a grown woman is LET IT GO. Even for Evelyn, there was an episode when the girls were at a race track and an argument broke out. Evelyn and all 36 years of her decided to jump across the table to try to attack her long time friend of 10 plus years Jennifer. Evelyn also tried to throw some fixture at her, because she was “running her mouth”. Also, Evelyn threw a bottle at Kenya in a restaurant when she got word that Kenya called her loose. I mean…you met Chad Ochocino on twitter, flew to Cincinnati to meet him in person and slept with him on the first date and now you want to go off because someone called you loose? When I saw these episodes I was in complete shock thinking THESE WOMEN ARE BULLIES!! Despite all of the success and fame that they have, something inside them leaves them feeling empty. Instead of addressing those inner issues, they act out in anger like little children. When you are truly comfortable and confident in yourself and what you represent, you do not waste time in foolishness. You do not break a sweat over someone talking about you; you are blind to the ignorance. How is it that these women consider themselves to be grown, some of them are mothers and yet they do not have enough class, especially as an African American woman, to conduct themselves in a civilized manner??? They are not able to have a conversation with another woman that does not consist of expletives’ and violence or threats of violence??? Some would say that these women are acting this way for ratings, what that really means is that they were willing to sell their souls to the devil to make a dollar. Also, what message is this sending to the rest of the world about how black women act??? You may not think it is that serious, but the white CEOs and Senior Managers who run corporate America look at these shows and think, this is how these black women act? Deep down they may want to use the term nigger, monkey or animal because that is exactly how these women are behaving. Shows like this will cause companies to be resistant in hiring a black woman or making it difficult for black women to advance in any company in fear that she may go off on someone in a meeting if she gets offended or is having a bad day. Please feel free to comment or share your opinion and keep it classy always.
I think women, especially African American women under estimate the great power that lies between them if you know what I mean…the power of the “P”! I believe that if women were to acknowledge the power that they possess and what REAL MEN will do to have some of their “power”, there would be more marriages amongst the black community along with stronger less volatile relationships. In addition to this, my black women need to stop having interest in a man only because of what they think he can offer them financially. Let me be clear; I am not saying that having a man who is stable as far as his income and place of residence is not important. I am saying that black women need to look at the character of that man and determine if he is one who will love them and treat them like a queen. I am saying that black women need to stop offering their vagina in exchange for a high class weave or that new dress to wear to the club. I am saying that black women need to be more concerned with what is in that man’s heart as oppose to his wallet. I am saying that black women need to stop hoping only for men that look like Idris Elba or Will Smith. I am saying that black women need to recognize a man’s potential and not just the here and now. Eventually looks will fade and if that is all you or the man has to offer, the relationship is destined for destruction. Some of you who are reading this may be thinking, why are you putting down black women and making it seem like we are all gold diggers?? I am not here to dog black women, but I am going to keep it one hundred with what I have observed and what we see in media. Let me put it you like this ladies; what are some of the reasons that black men will get a really nice car even if they cannot afford it? Why do some men spend big money on drinks at the club when he is with his boys? They do this to get women’s attention, they know that some black women will see you “making it rain” in the club and when those men try to talk to you, you pay them no mind. Maybe that woman did not find the man that attractive, but then she sees you at the “let out” and you are pushing a Mercedes; now you have got her attention. These men figure that all they need to do is show you that they have money and if you give up the booty, you can be the main girl in his front seat. What usually ends up happening with situations like this is that even though that guy has the nice car, the clothes and they take you out to dinner and a movie, they still live at home with mommy. Sometimes they are not that educated and they have to work two and three jobs just to keep up with the appearance of being a baller. At this point, you have given your goodies away to a bum who does not really have any goals and is certainly not looking to settle down. Then you have the actual ballers who always get what they want from women even if they have to pay for it. You may not be a prostitute, but since he took you on that little vacation, you repay him with sex. Once he gets it, he drops you and is on to the next leaving you feeling dirty and ashamed. I have a suggestion; instead of looking for the man with the BMW, the Acura, the Range Rover, celebrity status or whatever, look for the man who is college educated. Look for the man who has a plan for his future, look for the man that is actually interested in your plans for your own future. Look for the man who loves God, look for the man who loves and respects his mother (but not a momma’s boy). After all, a man who loves God and respects his mother will also love and respect you. Lastly, look for the man who will wait to have sex with you when you are HIS WIFE. A man who understands your worth knows that you have so much more to offer. A man who understands your worth knows that by God’s grace he will have plenty of time as your husband to make love to you. A REAL MAN will respect you more when you are not quick to give up the ass, which will make him want you that much more…that is the POWER OF THE P! Please feel free to comment or share your opinion and keep it classy always.
I am sure that you have heard about Lori Jones who is known for her outstanding athleticism. Lori Jones who is usually referred to as Lolo Jones is a hot topic these days and it is not her career in the Olympics’ that has people talking. Most people are shocked that she is a 29 year old virgin who plans to remain one until she is married. Some people are under the impression that if you are a beautiful woman with a nice body; most likely you have had sexual intercourse. Unfortunately, this assumption more often than not tends to be true, but not with Lolo Jones. She admits that being a virgin is not easy; she even says that being abstinent is harder than training for the Olympics. As we can see she is living proof that it may be hard, but it is not impossible. Even for me who did not wait until marriage to lose my virginity, I understand now more than ever the benefits of waiting. However; I did wait until I was married to be intimate with my husband. I believe that we need more beautiful women like Lolo to speak up about their abstinence in order to encourage other women to wait. Aside from our love and support, our body is one of the most precious things that we can offer to our husband. Why should we give something so priceless to a man who does not respect us, love us or understand our worth?? Some of you women reading this might not be virgins, but it is not too late to become a born again virgin. If you are looking for love and want to be in a serious relationship that will lead to marriage…WAIT TO HAVE SEX WITH YOUR HUSBAND. Please feel free to comment or share your opinion and keep it classy always.
I am sure some of you have heard about the transgender beauty queen who was initially disqualified from participating in a beauty pageant because she was not a naturally born woman. It appears that, the transgender model Jenna Talackova lied on her application and stated that she was a naturally born woman when really she was born a man. Evidently, Jenna was going to file charges because “she” believed that her inability to participate in the pageant was an act of discrimination and a human rights issue. I watched the factor recently and after coercion of lawsuits, the Trump Organization, which owns the contest allowed Jenna to participate. Even though she did not win Miss Universe, she was one of four women to win Ms. Congeniality. In my opinion, I think this whole; you can be ANYTHING in the world that you want to be as long as you put your mind to it has gone too far. With this transgender she believed that she was a woman since the age of four and started taking hormone pills and the age of 14 and then had sexual reassignment surgery in 2010. So because a man paid thousands of dollars to alter his body in order to become a woman, his rights have now been violated when he cannot compete in a competition that was meant for REAL WOMEN WHO HAVE A NATURAL AND NOT A MANMADE VAGINA??? What if I as an African American woman believed that I am really white, does that mean that I am white just because that is what I believe in my heart…I don’t think so. It seems like society is biased when it comes to certain image changes, when a man wants to become a woman, they are praised. When white people go the beach to get a tan in order to darken their skin tone, there is nothing wrong with that. However; When Michael Jackson’s skin went from dark to light, he was crucified especially by the African American community because they thought he wanted to be white. In his case he had a skin disease called Vitiligo which causes a loss of brown color in the skin and causes white patches to form. As a public figure, Michael Jackson could not walk around with white patches on his face so he had to bleach his skin in order for it to blend. I personally know a few individuals who have this same disease. At any rate, I do not think that a transgender should be allowed to compete in a contest meant for naturally born women nor do I believe that a man is a woman or vice versa just because that is what they believe they are in their heart of hearts. I suppose that in this day and age there is a fine line between reality and “la la land”. Please feel free to comment or share your opinion and keep it classy always.